Okay so this is a very short and specific memory, but I feel like there’s a pattern with this type of experiences and maybe I can do something with it.

We were drawing a lot in kindergarten. And of course, I loved it. This one day, we were drawing garden and I was doing pretty good — I laid down a nice green lawn and a row of flowers, pretty confident in my abilities. The teacher came over and she was impressed as well, and by her praise, I felt empowered and motivated to finish my masterpiece. I sharpened my dark blue crayon and drew the biggest cloud I could, covering the whole sky and pouring rain across my whole drawing. To my big surprise, the teacher was no longer impressed with my drawing and was very confused, asking me “why did you ruin your drawing?”

RUIN? I’m sorry ma’am, I wanted to draw a garden in the rain because I’m that genius and creative, and I could not do that without drawing the rain, could I?

It’s such a silly story, but I often catch myself coming back to it because I feel like the confusion from that encounter is something I’m still experiencing with other people reacting to things I do.

(sadly, I dont have the drawing anymore)